Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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