well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My feet surprised me
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