should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
