Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She's the barista slut.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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