I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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