at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
