I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Shame - the story of my life.
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