Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
