and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
