Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize