I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
