i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
