So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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