if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
