i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
