You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
