just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
