I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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