guys are not supposed to queef...right?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
