The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize