Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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