I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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