whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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