I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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