lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
even my farts smell like vagina
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
