I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
