I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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