The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
