$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
