In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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