1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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