im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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