there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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