I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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