How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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