Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
