whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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