I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
