dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
