i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm too high and old for this...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
