they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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