Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
