So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Terrible idea I love it
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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