and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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