he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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