Apparently you make a good broom.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize