3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
