do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize