The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize