went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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