If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
