WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
it glows. i had to have it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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