Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
