He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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