like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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