did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
