I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
