I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize