so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
