I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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