i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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