Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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