wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
