i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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