i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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