OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
