Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
