she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
