Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
