Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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