The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
